1 00:00:03,080 --> 00:00:09,600 It's a new life for two girls named Brady who have left the bunch to make it 2 00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:10,600 their own. 3 00:01:13,770 --> 00:01:14,770 Only temporarily. 4 00:01:15,410 --> 00:01:16,790 For the next 20 years. 5 00:01:17,850 --> 00:01:20,830 Why don't you take a look around? I have to lock up and check the backyard and 6 00:01:20,830 --> 00:01:21,449 the garage. 7 00:01:21,450 --> 00:01:23,370 Well, take your time. We're waiting for Jan anyway. 8 00:01:24,210 --> 00:01:26,030 You know, you know I love Jan. 9 00:01:26,230 --> 00:01:29,550 But why is it so important for your sister to help us find an apartment? 10 00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:31,030 Well, you don't understand sisters. 11 00:01:31,430 --> 00:01:33,810 It's something I do for her and she does for me. 12 00:01:34,350 --> 00:01:35,350 It's called meddling. 13 00:01:37,050 --> 00:01:38,050 Hi. 14 00:01:38,230 --> 00:01:42,470 Hi. Wow, what a pretty house. Oh, it's great. 15 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:43,719 It's terrific. 16 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:46,680 Please, I'm an architect. Let me give you the technical term. 17 00:01:48,020 --> 00:01:51,040 Fabulous. Mom and Wally should be back soon. Do you want to look around? 18 00:01:51,340 --> 00:01:52,840 Sure. Do you think we should? 19 00:01:53,420 --> 00:01:55,080 No, but let. Okay. 20 00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:56,960 The kitchen's this way, I think. 21 00:01:58,700 --> 00:02:00,520 It's got every modern convenience. 22 00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:03,460 This washer and garbage disposal built -in oven. 23 00:02:03,700 --> 00:02:05,220 Julia Child could go wild. 24 00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:06,940 It even has a wine rack. 25 00:02:07,300 --> 00:02:08,979 Betty Crocker could get cropped. 26 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:10,539 Want to check out the bedrooms? 27 00:02:10,860 --> 00:02:14,680 Yeah. This way. This is just the kind of house Phillip and I would like to own 28 00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:17,840 someday. Yeah, Wally and I were saying the same thing. And instead of paying 29 00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:19,540 rent for an apartment, you'd have something. 30 00:02:20,220 --> 00:02:24,080 Yeah, well, Mom and I were talking about it, and with Wally's job at Tyler Toys 31 00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:28,320 and mine at Casual Clothes. But if you put that together with Phillip's 32 00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:32,480 at the college and my... salary, even though it's just my first year as an 33 00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:35,580 architect. Tim, that is an incredible idea. I mean, it's the only way two 34 00:02:35,580 --> 00:02:38,560 couples could afford a house. It would be perfect. Your bedroom would be 35 00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:45,020 perfect. I mean, I've always... What do you think? The same thing you're 36 00:02:45,020 --> 00:02:47,620 thinking, only I'm thinking it more. I mean, this is the only way that we can 37 00:02:47,620 --> 00:02:48,880 afford it. It would be perfect. 38 00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:49,799 It's perfect. 39 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:51,580 I love everything. 40 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:53,978 I do, too. 41 00:02:53,980 --> 00:02:54,980 Ready to go? 42 00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:57,620 No. We're ready to stay. 43 00:02:58,580 --> 00:02:59,580 It would be perfect. 44 00:03:02,910 --> 00:03:03,910 Hold it. 45 00:03:03,970 --> 00:03:06,470 Hold it. Can you take it down to 33 and a third? 46 00:03:06,850 --> 00:03:08,570 And then try it one at a time? 47 00:03:09,370 --> 00:03:12,750 Mother, remember how you were saying that Wally and I couldn't afford a place 48 00:03:12,750 --> 00:03:15,890 like this yet? Phillip and I couldn't either. But if we shared the house, we'd 49 00:03:15,890 --> 00:03:17,190 have four salaries coming in. 50 00:03:17,450 --> 00:03:20,810 That is, if it's legal. Oh, it's legal. Willowbrook sold several that way. 51 00:03:21,030 --> 00:03:24,310 Well, how about making some close relatives your next customers? 52 00:03:24,650 --> 00:03:25,670 Oh, that sounds great! 53 00:03:30,990 --> 00:03:32,170 I have anything to say about all this? 54 00:03:32,630 --> 00:03:34,350 Well, depends on what you're going to say. 55 00:03:36,050 --> 00:03:37,050 I love it. 56 00:03:38,190 --> 00:03:42,990 Why do I have to be blindfolded? We want you to get the whole effect all at 57 00:03:42,990 --> 00:03:43,990 once. Step. 58 00:03:45,010 --> 00:03:45,948 That's crazy. 59 00:03:45,950 --> 00:03:46,950 It's childish. 60 00:03:46,990 --> 00:03:50,750 This whole idea is rash, irresponsible, and foolhardy. No, no, no, honey, 61 00:03:50,850 --> 00:03:52,870 please, not yet. You're right, Jan, he's stubborn. 62 00:03:53,410 --> 00:03:55,870 You know, Marsha, a lot of people say I'm stubborn, but they're all wrong. 63 00:03:56,170 --> 00:03:57,170 I'm not stubborn. 64 00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:59,410 Permanently determined, maybe, but not stubborn. 65 00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:02,040 Voila! 66 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:05,360 It's a house. 67 00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:10,220 Very nice house. It's a house that the four of us can buy together. 68 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:12,480 Think of the advantages. It's a great idea. 69 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:14,580 I hate the idea. 70 00:04:15,060 --> 00:04:16,060 Give it a chance. 71 00:04:16,279 --> 00:04:19,279 Can't we at least start to talk about it, Phil? Philip, Philip. 72 00:04:19,500 --> 00:04:23,780 Thanks. Philip, I'm telling you. Buying this house is a wonderful idea. 73 00:04:24,580 --> 00:04:28,140 Living with one person is difficult. Two couples living together? That's 74 00:04:28,140 --> 00:04:29,320 impossible. It's wonderful. 75 00:04:29,580 --> 00:04:30,279 It's impossible. 76 00:04:30,280 --> 00:04:32,840 Wonderful. Impossible. Wonderful. Phillip, let's negotiate. 77 00:04:33,220 --> 00:04:37,340 If Wally comes down from wonderful to not bad, will you come up from 78 00:04:37,340 --> 00:04:38,340 to eh? 79 00:04:38,840 --> 00:04:41,800 In all fairness, Phillip, you could at least look at the rest of the house. 80 00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:43,360 Okay. 81 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:45,440 I'm looking at the rest of the house. 82 00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:48,060 Built -in bookcases. Lots of closet space. 83 00:04:48,300 --> 00:04:49,300 Rack and pinion steering. 84 00:04:50,300 --> 00:04:51,300 Nice kitchen. 85 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:53,960 Good -sized bedroom. Wonderful bookcases. 86 00:04:54,260 --> 00:04:55,260 Isn't it great? Yeah. 87 00:04:55,740 --> 00:04:59,380 Excellent foreplay. Then give us one good reason why we can't all buy this 88 00:04:59,380 --> 00:05:00,900 together. In alphabetical order? 89 00:05:02,060 --> 00:05:03,060 Okay. 90 00:05:03,380 --> 00:05:06,780 A for aquarium. What happens when I bring in my tropical fish aquarium? 91 00:05:07,220 --> 00:05:10,920 I take care of the fish. I raise them. I baby them. I clean the tank. 92 00:05:11,180 --> 00:05:13,760 And you'll be looking at them without doing anything for them. 93 00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:18,520 We won't look at them. We promise. We don't even like tropical fish. 94 00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:23,700 I don't know if I could live with anyone that doesn't like tropical fish. 95 00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:30,100 He was just saying that. We like tropical fish. We love tropical fish. 96 00:05:30,100 --> 00:05:31,860 promise we won't look at them. What about parrots? 97 00:05:32,120 --> 00:05:33,120 Do you like parrots? 98 00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:36,780 We love parrots. We're crazy about parrots. 99 00:05:37,460 --> 00:05:38,580 I hate parrots. 100 00:05:39,860 --> 00:05:43,480 Look, we don't even have a parrot. You might get one. You know, people that are 101 00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:45,520 crazy about parrots might get one. Then what would I do? 102 00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:48,880 Honey, don't you think we can work it out? It's simply not rational. 103 00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:53,660 For once in your life, throw ration to the wind. For once in your life, don't 104 00:05:53,660 --> 00:05:54,660 practical. 105 00:05:55,420 --> 00:05:58,700 I've told you before, I am rational, not practical. 106 00:05:59,420 --> 00:06:02,120 Where can I work on my scientific experiments? 107 00:06:02,420 --> 00:06:05,160 I need peace and quiet. Where is the privacy? 108 00:06:05,420 --> 00:06:06,700 That's just being practical. 109 00:06:07,260 --> 00:06:08,900 As practical as you can be. 110 00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:11,140 Practical, practical, practical. 111 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:15,320 Stop it. I can be just as impractical as anyone. Then buy the house. Or if you 112 00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:18,140 had the papers right here in front of me, I'd show you how impractical I can 113 00:06:35,470 --> 00:06:36,469 Have I been had? 114 00:06:36,470 --> 00:06:38,270 Not until you sign here. 115 00:07:05,390 --> 00:07:06,149 water, Marsha? 116 00:07:06,150 --> 00:07:08,430 Over by the coffee table. I don't see no coffee table. 117 00:07:09,050 --> 00:07:10,250 You see a coffee table, Frank? 118 00:07:11,010 --> 00:07:13,550 I don't see a coffee table, unless it's made of glass. 119 00:07:15,150 --> 00:07:16,150 I'll tell you what. 120 00:07:16,870 --> 00:07:18,830 This is a good place for a coffee table. 121 00:07:19,110 --> 00:07:20,110 Roger. 122 00:07:30,070 --> 00:07:31,570 Nice place, Marsha. 123 00:07:32,290 --> 00:07:35,430 Thanks, Maxie. I really appreciate... I appreciate you moving my things and 124 00:07:35,430 --> 00:07:36,730 Wally's things for the same price. 125 00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:39,750 Hey, listen, it's the least we could do for somebody who works in the next 126 00:07:39,750 --> 00:07:41,030 building. Right, Frank? 127 00:07:41,430 --> 00:07:43,870 No, the least we can do is move the rest of the stuff in here. 128 00:07:44,350 --> 00:07:45,350 Come on. 129 00:07:47,390 --> 00:07:48,410 Right in here, fellas. 130 00:07:53,970 --> 00:07:59,350 Oh, no, look at all this other stuff. 131 00:07:59,870 --> 00:08:03,290 I tried to tell you, lady, we've already moved in three loads today. 132 00:08:04,140 --> 00:08:05,360 Where am I going to put it all? 133 00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:06,479 You don't put. 134 00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:07,479 You point. 135 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:08,480 We put. 136 00:09:12,650 --> 00:09:13,970 can't get to the phone right now. 137 00:09:14,850 --> 00:09:15,850 Oh, yes. 138 00:09:16,090 --> 00:09:17,330 You got here all right? 139 00:09:18,030 --> 00:09:19,030 Oh, yes. 140 00:09:19,290 --> 00:09:21,030 Well, we appreciate the furniture. 141 00:09:21,550 --> 00:09:22,550 We really do. 142 00:09:23,030 --> 00:09:25,270 It, um, fits right in. 143 00:09:25,950 --> 00:09:26,950 Thank you. 144 00:09:26,990 --> 00:09:27,990 Bye. 145 00:09:29,870 --> 00:09:32,070 Well, that explains some of the furniture explosion. 146 00:09:33,130 --> 00:09:35,110 Hi, honey. I'm home. 147 00:09:36,030 --> 00:09:37,030 Hi, Wally. 148 00:09:38,010 --> 00:09:40,770 Hi. Keep talking. I'll try to zero in on your voice. 149 00:09:52,430 --> 00:09:53,430 Hi, Jan. 150 00:09:54,870 --> 00:09:56,410 Hi, sweetie. 151 00:09:56,650 --> 00:09:57,650 Hi. 152 00:09:57,870 --> 00:10:01,010 I am so sorry I didn't straighten up. I just didn't have time. 153 00:10:01,370 --> 00:10:03,470 Should I ask what's new? 154 00:10:03,990 --> 00:10:08,510 With your stuff and my stuff and Marsha's stuff and Phillip's stuff and 155 00:10:08,510 --> 00:10:11,430 from our folks and stuff from your folks and stuff from Phillip's folks. 156 00:10:11,670 --> 00:10:13,430 No wonder this place got so stuffed. 157 00:10:16,590 --> 00:10:17,590 Hi, honey. 158 00:10:22,079 --> 00:10:24,600 Jan, are you in there? We're toward the dining room. 159 00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:28,340 Maybe I better go on back and come in through the kitchen. 160 00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:31,260 No, there are three refrigerators blocking the door. 161 00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:33,440 Just follow the path Wally made. 162 00:10:34,860 --> 00:10:36,360 I should have dropped bread crumbs. 163 00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,620 Can't we get rid of some of this clutter? 164 00:10:40,300 --> 00:10:41,800 Yeah, which is the clutter? 165 00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:43,720 Anything that isn't mine. 166 00:10:48,500 --> 00:10:49,740 Careful, honey. 167 00:10:51,210 --> 00:10:52,250 I made it. Yeah. 168 00:10:53,390 --> 00:10:56,410 We have got to get rid of some of this. 169 00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:58,190 Not right away. 170 00:10:58,310 --> 00:11:00,310 I'm dead set against getting rid of anything right away. 171 00:11:00,710 --> 00:11:03,530 Why? Well, you never know when you're going to need something. 172 00:11:04,250 --> 00:11:05,250 Hello? 173 00:11:07,070 --> 00:11:08,070 Anybody home? 174 00:11:09,270 --> 00:11:10,630 Yes, we're all home. 175 00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:12,170 Who are you? 176 00:11:12,410 --> 00:11:13,970 Miss Fritzinger, your neighbor. 177 00:11:14,930 --> 00:11:16,610 Your door's open. Can I come in? 178 00:11:17,390 --> 00:11:18,390 If you can. 179 00:11:29,770 --> 00:11:32,570 We really shouldn't leave the door open. Somebody might take something. 180 00:11:33,750 --> 00:11:34,750 Who'd notice? 181 00:11:35,450 --> 00:11:36,450 Hello. 182 00:11:36,790 --> 00:11:40,110 Hi. Oh, watch yourself. Hello, everybody. 183 00:11:41,150 --> 00:11:42,370 Hi, Miss Fritzinger. 184 00:11:42,570 --> 00:11:44,130 I live right across the street. 185 00:11:45,110 --> 00:11:49,030 We're the Logans. I'm Marcia. And Wally. I'm Jan Brady Covington. Philip 186 00:11:49,030 --> 00:11:50,030 Covington III. 187 00:11:51,650 --> 00:11:55,470 We just moved in. That's why things were a little untidy, Mrs. Fritzinger. 188 00:11:55,650 --> 00:11:58,210 That's Miss Fritzinger. And that's by choice. 189 00:11:58,650 --> 00:12:00,790 since men have only one thing on their mind. 190 00:12:02,230 --> 00:12:05,150 Charles and I, uh, Charles is my brother, we own our own home together. 191 00:12:05,630 --> 00:12:09,090 Now, whose home is this? Uh, you and you, or you and you? 192 00:12:09,870 --> 00:12:10,829 All of us. 193 00:12:10,830 --> 00:12:11,830 Isn't it terrific? 194 00:12:12,730 --> 00:12:14,210 Seems a bit odd to me. 195 00:12:14,930 --> 00:12:17,310 We have a very respectable neighborhood here. 196 00:12:17,970 --> 00:12:20,630 You young people obviously go on furniture -buying binges. 197 00:12:21,050 --> 00:12:23,310 That may very well indicate a life of excesses. 198 00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:28,560 First it's too much furniture, and then it's too much... I'd rather not say. 199 00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:31,760 Thank you for the warning. I leave now. 200 00:12:32,180 --> 00:12:34,340 I just wanted to welcome you all to the neighborhood. 201 00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:35,640 Thanks. Thank you. 202 00:12:35,860 --> 00:12:39,220 Oh! If there's anything you want to know about your neighbors, I can tell you. 203 00:12:39,460 --> 00:12:41,080 Or if I can't, I can find out. 204 00:12:41,580 --> 00:12:42,620 Goodbye. Bye. 205 00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:45,900 As we were saying before, Mrs. 206 00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:47,340 Spritzinger. Yes, Spritzinger. 207 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:51,040 Yeah. We have to decide which furniture to get rid of. 208 00:12:51,340 --> 00:12:52,340 The modern stuff. 209 00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:53,800 I thought you left. 210 00:12:54,140 --> 00:12:55,440 I took a wrong turn. 211 00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:59,580 Could have been right by the ottoman and left by the nightstand. 212 00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:00,920 There's the door. 213 00:13:02,180 --> 00:13:05,240 It's simple. It's what furniture fits this particular house. 214 00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:08,720 I think this house has an early American feeling. 215 00:13:09,940 --> 00:13:12,080 You have to admit, our things are classic. 216 00:13:13,740 --> 00:13:17,620 Oh, so are the Roman ruins, but I wouldn't want them in our living room. 217 00:13:17,820 --> 00:13:22,000 Oh, yeah, well, there's a lot more... comfortable than those modern chairs of 218 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:27,000 yours. Fair information, Jan. Those are coffee tables. Wait a minute. It's 219 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:30,800 impossible. I warned you. I warned you. I warned you. Thank you, Paul Revere. 220 00:13:31,340 --> 00:13:34,320 Let's face it. This isn't an argument about end tables. 221 00:13:34,740 --> 00:13:38,820 If we can't agree about furniture, we'll never be able to agree about other 222 00:13:38,820 --> 00:13:40,020 things. Important things. 223 00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:42,140 We've agreed on a lot of things. 224 00:13:42,380 --> 00:13:44,880 It's no use. It'll be like this about everything. 225 00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:49,340 Money, politics, who takes out the garbage, what to watch on television. 226 00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:53,900 No, that's easy. We'll spend an enjoyable evening watching The Wonderful 227 00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:54,900 of Geranium. 228 00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:59,200 Well, that'll be better than the Super Bowl of Mud Wrestling. 229 00:13:59,580 --> 00:14:01,580 What's wrong with the Super Bowl of Mud Wrestling? 230 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:05,240 Hey, wait a minute, you guys. No, come on. No, please. What if there's a fire? 231 00:14:05,300 --> 00:14:07,740 He'll run back to save his beer can collection. I would not. 232 00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:10,000 I'd run back in to watch a fish boil. 233 00:14:14,790 --> 00:14:15,790 Come on, Jan. 234 00:14:15,870 --> 00:14:17,930 Wait a minute, wait a minute. Where are we going? Home. 235 00:14:18,210 --> 00:14:19,210 Home? You are? 236 00:14:58,860 --> 00:15:01,400 What's the big deal? It's two in the morning. Nobody's up. 237 00:15:01,740 --> 00:15:02,780 But you're naked. 238 00:15:03,140 --> 00:15:06,560 I always sleep with my clothes off. Well, I know that better than anybody, 239 00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:07,940 but... So what's the problem? 240 00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:10,680 Well, what if Jan wakes up and comes in here? 241 00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:14,780 First of all, this is our house just as much as it is theirs, and we should be 242 00:15:14,780 --> 00:15:16,620 able to walk around any way we like. 243 00:15:16,940 --> 00:15:21,040 And secondly, I'm not stopping Jan from walking around in the nude. 244 00:15:21,860 --> 00:15:22,860 Marsha? 245 00:15:23,060 --> 00:15:23,879 It's Jan. 246 00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:24,880 It's Jan. 247 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:36,260 He's getting a glass of milk. Two in the morning? 248 00:15:36,700 --> 00:15:41,200 I just had this sudden craving for milk, you know? Just this sudden craving. 249 00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:48,860 Marsha, you're not... No, of course not. We just got married, silly. 250 00:15:49,140 --> 00:15:51,220 I know, but... No, I'm not. 251 00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:53,280 Tell her the truth. 252 00:15:53,580 --> 00:15:54,820 Wally. Wally? 253 00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:56,440 Yes, that's Wally. 254 00:15:56,900 --> 00:15:58,800 But don't go in there. 255 00:15:59,020 --> 00:16:02,080 What's going on? Well, he's in the kitchen, naked. 256 00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:03,520 Why? 257 00:16:03,980 --> 00:16:05,560 He always sleeps naked. In the kitchen? 258 00:16:05,780 --> 00:16:09,940 Uh, well, you see, uh... All I wanted was a glass of milk. I didn't think 259 00:16:09,940 --> 00:16:10,940 anybody'd be up. 260 00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:12,880 Are you shocked? 261 00:16:12,940 --> 00:16:14,780 No. Lots of people drink milk. 262 00:16:16,220 --> 00:16:18,100 Well, I'm talking about the way he's dressed. 263 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:19,600 I mean, not dressed. 264 00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:21,120 Undressed. 265 00:16:21,540 --> 00:16:23,980 I know what you mean. A lot of people sleep in the nude. 266 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:25,740 Not Philip, of course. 267 00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:29,840 Will you ladies stop with the chit -chat? This linoleum is getting cold. 268 00:16:30,300 --> 00:16:31,840 I better make sure Philip is asleep. 269 00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:33,900 No telling how I'd react to a thing like this. 270 00:16:37,540 --> 00:16:38,540 Marcia. Hi. 271 00:16:38,740 --> 00:16:39,880 2 .06 in the morning. 272 00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:43,960 I was just... Getting a glass of milk. 273 00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:45,600 I was helping her. 274 00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:47,800 You were helping her get a glass of milk. 275 00:16:48,620 --> 00:16:49,620 What's going on? 276 00:16:50,700 --> 00:16:57,480 The truth is... The truth is... The truth is... The truth 277 00:16:57,480 --> 00:17:00,200 is... I was in the kitchen. 278 00:17:07,589 --> 00:17:10,650 You came in here to get some milk like that? 279 00:17:11,170 --> 00:17:12,250 This is not mine. 280 00:17:12,550 --> 00:17:14,849 I was in the bath. 281 00:17:16,589 --> 00:17:17,790 I don't know which I prefer. 282 00:17:19,310 --> 00:17:23,569 Well, let's suppose that I would like to wear this. This is our house, just the 283 00:17:23,569 --> 00:17:27,510 same as it is yours, and I have every right to wear whatever I would like to 284 00:17:27,510 --> 00:17:29,410 wear whenever I would like to wear it. 285 00:17:30,010 --> 00:17:31,410 We all have our fantasies. 286 00:17:33,030 --> 00:17:35,430 Why don't we all go back to bed? Good night. 287 00:17:35,690 --> 00:17:38,270 That is not going to solve the problems of this house. 288 00:17:38,470 --> 00:17:43,310 We have differing lifestyles. You like to play Mozart softly. 289 00:17:43,610 --> 00:17:47,130 I like to play music with a beat, nice and loud. 290 00:17:55,530 --> 00:17:57,950 We're not talking about music, it's lifestyles. 291 00:17:58,150 --> 00:18:03,050 Like your decision to turn this house into a nudist colony. 292 00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:12,660 comfortable. But what if seeing Wally in the nude makes us feel uncomfortable? 293 00:18:13,120 --> 00:18:16,140 Right. I didn't know we were living with Playgirl's Mr. 294 00:18:16,460 --> 00:18:17,460 July. 295 00:18:19,140 --> 00:18:20,139 I'll get it. 296 00:18:20,140 --> 00:18:21,140 Don't answer that. 297 00:18:21,460 --> 00:18:23,520 It's my house. I'll get it if I want to. 298 00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:26,320 Coming. 299 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:29,240 Do come in. 300 00:18:31,980 --> 00:18:33,060 Miss Fritzinger. 301 00:18:33,660 --> 00:18:35,380 We were just having a little discussion. 302 00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:39,720 Would you care to join us? I heard some very loud music, and at this hour, so I 303 00:18:39,720 --> 00:18:42,640 knew that I had to be wearing an apron. 304 00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:45,280 Yes. Yes, do you like it? 305 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,260 Well, yes. 306 00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:48,879 Thank you. 307 00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:51,200 We were discussing personal freedom. 308 00:18:51,640 --> 00:18:52,640 Yeah. 309 00:18:55,700 --> 00:19:02,200 That takes care of her. 310 00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:04,640 Now, As we were saying. 311 00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:08,040 Good night, Miss Fritzinger. 312 00:19:12,260 --> 00:19:15,700 This is not working. It's just not working. We've got to end this. 313 00:19:15,980 --> 00:19:16,980 End what? 314 00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:18,600 It's not that simple. 315 00:19:19,120 --> 00:19:20,180 Marsha and I are sisters. 316 00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:22,280 We bought this place together. 317 00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:24,000 We've got to make it work. 318 00:19:24,420 --> 00:19:25,460 Can't we compromise? 319 00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:27,860 Compromise? What kind of compromise? 320 00:19:28,740 --> 00:19:30,440 Go naked Monday, Wednesday, and Friday? 321 00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:35,580 As far as I'm concerned, I don't really care what you do on your side of the 322 00:19:35,580 --> 00:19:40,040 house. You do what you want over here, and let us do what we want over there. 323 00:19:40,220 --> 00:19:41,640 You mean some kind of a separation? 324 00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:43,700 No, I mean a divorce. 325 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:10,920 You know, Philip, I was hoping all this tape would be gone. It's so childish. 326 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:15,660 It's not childish. It's the reason why countries have borders. It ensures 327 00:20:15,660 --> 00:20:16,660 friendly relations. 328 00:20:17,940 --> 00:20:19,740 Too bad my passport expired. 329 00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:28,800 What is all this stuff, anyway? 330 00:20:29,340 --> 00:20:32,520 The scientific experiment I'm working on. 331 00:20:32,860 --> 00:20:34,620 Here? In the living room? 332 00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:36,040 On our half. 333 00:20:38,380 --> 00:20:39,380 Smell eggs. 334 00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:42,740 Rotten eggs. 335 00:20:43,020 --> 00:20:44,720 What you smell is sulfur. 336 00:20:47,220 --> 00:20:48,520 Morning. Morning. 337 00:20:48,860 --> 00:20:50,120 Ah, you made eggs. 338 00:20:50,420 --> 00:20:52,520 No, Philip made sulfur. 339 00:20:53,260 --> 00:20:55,000 Right here in the living room. 340 00:20:55,220 --> 00:20:57,080 Well, at least it's on our side. 341 00:20:57,540 --> 00:20:58,860 I am a scientist. 342 00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:00,460 I have to experiment. 343 00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:04,600 Would you have asked Enrico Fermi to move his atom bomb? 344 00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:06,860 Out of the living room? Yeah. 345 00:21:18,030 --> 00:21:19,030 Don't tell me. Dr. 346 00:21:19,110 --> 00:21:20,150 Frankenstein dropped in. 347 00:21:21,530 --> 00:21:25,570 What have you made us for breakfast, Master Phil? 348 00:21:26,770 --> 00:21:28,610 Philip. Oh, Philip. 349 00:21:29,410 --> 00:21:30,950 Philip made scrambled sulfur. 350 00:21:31,210 --> 00:21:32,210 Can't you smell it? 351 00:21:32,370 --> 00:21:34,390 We agreed to split the house in half. 352 00:21:34,630 --> 00:21:37,070 You'd better just keep your nose pollution on your side. 353 00:21:37,770 --> 00:21:40,970 That's Philip's work. He has the right to work at home if he wants to. 354 00:21:42,850 --> 00:21:43,849 I'll get it. 355 00:21:43,850 --> 00:21:45,130 Just stay on your side. 356 00:21:45,390 --> 00:21:46,390 You'll smell stuff. 357 00:21:47,210 --> 00:21:48,210 Coming. 358 00:21:51,950 --> 00:21:54,270 It is Miss Fritzinger and an officer. 359 00:21:54,750 --> 00:21:55,990 And they're on your side. 360 00:21:56,770 --> 00:21:59,570 I hardly recognize you without your apron. Thank you. 361 00:22:00,690 --> 00:22:03,610 Folks, Miss Fritzinger has lodged another of her complaints. 362 00:22:04,070 --> 00:22:07,630 Now, at the station, we consider her to be a very concerned citizen. 363 00:22:07,990 --> 00:22:09,150 Thank you, Officer DeMille. 364 00:22:10,310 --> 00:22:14,570 I knew I smelled something. Look at that. They are making drugs. 365 00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:16,580 Probably STP. 366 00:22:17,940 --> 00:22:20,820 And I bet they're selling it at kindergartens during recess. 367 00:22:21,820 --> 00:22:26,320 And last night, this one, this one was wearing an apron. 368 00:22:27,340 --> 00:22:28,340 An apron? 369 00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:30,460 Book him on a morals charge. 370 00:22:30,700 --> 00:22:36,040 That's a 613. Oh, and throw in a 752. That's a drug bust for good measure. 371 00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:37,019 bust. 372 00:22:37,020 --> 00:22:39,640 Officer Dumont, this is going to get you a promotion. 373 00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:41,740 I'm grateful, Miss Fritzinger. 374 00:22:42,890 --> 00:22:45,590 What is this stuff, anyway? We're in a residential zone. 375 00:22:45,870 --> 00:22:50,850 This stuff, as you called it, is hydrogen sulfide, a common gas which is 376 00:22:50,850 --> 00:22:53,830 sometimes released by the oxidation of bituminous carbon. 377 00:22:54,390 --> 00:22:55,390 Wait a minute. 378 00:22:55,510 --> 00:22:57,970 Do you realize what Philip is doing? 379 00:22:58,350 --> 00:23:01,990 This experiment might very well make a better world for us all. 380 00:23:02,490 --> 00:23:08,350 Miss Fritzinger, anyone who would complain about Philip Covington III 381 00:23:08,350 --> 00:23:11,430 probably thrown Dr. Jonas Salk out on his vaccine. 382 00:23:14,670 --> 00:23:15,670 Thank you, Wally. 383 00:23:15,910 --> 00:23:16,910 Don't thank me. 384 00:23:17,250 --> 00:23:18,250 Thank you. 385 00:23:19,410 --> 00:23:20,410 Thank him. 386 00:23:20,810 --> 00:23:21,870 Thank you, Doctor. 387 00:23:22,130 --> 00:23:23,270 Keep up the good work. 388 00:23:25,090 --> 00:23:31,010 And, Miss Pritzinger, for your information, a 752 is no parking near a 389 00:23:31,010 --> 00:23:32,010 hydrant. 390 00:23:34,990 --> 00:23:37,370 Well, they probably do that, too. 391 00:23:38,310 --> 00:23:42,810 Oh, well, do not think that you can fool over a Pritzinger. 392 00:23:43,130 --> 00:23:48,370 You probably wore clothes because you knew I'd be around. 393 00:23:49,150 --> 00:23:53,570 Miss Fritzinger, this is our home, and we can dress any way we choose. 394 00:23:53,990 --> 00:23:55,750 Any time we choose, right. 395 00:23:56,010 --> 00:23:57,470 There are standards. 396 00:23:58,210 --> 00:24:01,310 Exactly. And in this house, we set the standards. 397 00:24:01,550 --> 00:24:02,810 Wally can dress any way he likes. 398 00:24:03,190 --> 00:24:04,850 I can dress any way I like. 399 00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:13,380 Maybe that's your problem, is that to me? 400 00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:31,060 That was so funny! 401 00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,820 Do you realize your pants are still down? 402 00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:40,700 And do you realize there is still tape dividing this household? 403 00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:48,380 doesn't have to be let's get rid of it yeah you 404 00:24:48,380 --> 00:24:51,680 go that way 405 00:25:14,900 --> 00:25:19,080 Tomorrow night, make sure you're back here for more of Nick at Night's Bunch 406 00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:22,800 Brady. A one week and one week only salute to everything Brady. 407 00:25:23,020 --> 00:25:26,340 Or as the French might say, tout le chose Brady. 408 00:25:26,980 --> 00:25:31,420 Including two classic episodes of the Brady Bunch. Plus specials, spin -offs, 409 00:25:31,420 --> 00:25:32,419 and much more. 410 00:25:32,420 --> 00:25:36,420 Tomorrow night, starting at 8, 7 central, on Nick at Night's Bunch of 411 00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:42,840 Now stay tuned, because the doctor is in. On the Bob Newhart Show, next on 412 00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:43,840 at Night.